chris wasn’t sure why he’d done it. right next to nick no less. but something about the dark of the movie theater made him feel like it was the only appropriate course of action. he knew matt wouldn’t mind. they’d formed some unspoken agreement over the past few weeks that they could be affectionate with each other, to say the least, so long as it was all kept in a separate area of their lives.
they didn’t talk about it unless they were right there in the heat of the moment. they didn’t act weird around each other, why would they? there was nothing to be weird about. they didn’t even have a talk with nick about the situation, when he’d walked in on them practically sucking each other's faces off late one night he’d simply told them to ‘quiet the f*ck down’ and stalked back off to his room.
none of that was important now though. not when chris was busy intertwining his lips with his brother’s. he pulled back after a short while, after all, their brother was right next to the two of them. matt hadn’t said anything since chris pulled back, though they were in a theater so that certainly made sense. chris didn’t need him to speak anyway, there was no missing the love in matt’s eyes. as matt grabbed his hand, chris could feel himself falling in love all over again. it was always the little moments for him. the private, domestic acts the two shared were where he couldn’t stop himself from wishing they were more than something left unspoken.
but there’s no point in ruining a perfectly good moment by dwelling on that. especially when matt hadn’t let go of chris’ hand since he grabbed it. his fingers were lightly dancing over matt’s, drawing a nonexistent pattern over and over until the end credits were showing.
once they’d arrived home, and chris was left to overthink in the privacy of his room, he’d wondered briefly if he’d somehow messed things up. though he’d scanned the area to make sure no one (not even nick) had been looking in their direction there was no telling how matt felt about his brother making out with him in a public movie theater. seriously what if matt was pissed at him for that stunt he’d pulled back then?
maybe that’s why he hadn’t spoken to chris since they left the theater. as though… something public had broken one of their unspoken rules or had somehow made it too much or too real. and maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing anyway, but for what it’s worth chris didn’t have much time to overthink before matt showed up in his bedroom, walking in through the crack in the door as though it had his name on it. and when matt slinked himself into his brother’s bed without so much as one word chris knew he was wrong in his previous line of thinking. how could he possibly have ruined things and matt was so content with the current state of things?
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matt should’ve seen this coming. when chris first knocked on the bathroom door matt knew that his ‘i’m in here’ would go ignored. after all, chris has been the clingiest of the three of them all his life, so matt’s honestly not sure why he’s so shocked when chris barges into the bathroom in the middle of him taking a shower.
“what, are you deaf? i said i’m in here” matt groans behind the, thankfully, closed shower curtain.
“okay? i’m not bothering you bro i’m just in here to brush my teeth” chris responds with an eye roll as he grabs his toothbrush.
and matt could put up more of a fight, but what’s the point? it’s not like chris’ll leave anyway, which isn’t all that bad of a thing, cause matt doesn’t really want him to. so instead, he carries on as though he doesn’t even know chris is there. at least he tries to at first. but when he gets to thinking about his brother being so close to him, so desperate to be near matt in any way he can… matt can’t help but reach out for chris.
his hand, soapy and dripping water across the bathroom tile, grabs blindly at chris’ shirt. before he can make sense of what he’s doing he gently tugs his shirt towards the direction of the shower. he doesn’t really know why he’s doing it, that happens sometimes. matt will act without really knowing why, just knows that he wants to do something and he will. regardless of whether he should or what the outcome will be. he’d say he’s been like that all his life if he had to guess.
of course, matt doesn’t need to worry too much because chris understands him. sometimes better than he understands himself. it’s why he abandons his toothbrush in the sink the second he feels his brother's light tug on his shirt, hardly giving himself enough time to wipe the toothpaste off the side of his mouth. chris is only temporarily upset at the feeling of his pajamas clinging to him as the shower head soaks him.
“you alright?” chris murmurs to the back of matt’s head as he places a soothing hand on his shoulder.
and somehow, though chris is the one invading someone’s personal time, matt finds himself shy -bordering on embarrassed- and unable to speak. so instead, he simply nods as he steps directly under the stream before turning to his brother. and where words seem lackluster he lets his body do the talking.
he gently leans up to press his lips against chris’s though he makes no move to kiss him truly, instead, he just appreciates the newfound closeness he’s found with his brother. and it feels more romantic to kiss that way. just their lips connecting without all the lust and hunger they typically have behind their kisses. matt thinks briefly that maybe he should be more gentle with his brother. after all, if chris had listened to matt at least half the time, he would’ve probably left the bathroom when matt first asked him to. and then where would matt be?
regardless, the previous sentiment must’ve been one not shared by chris who, after a few seconds of stillness, rapaciously deepened the kiss. matt hadn’t realized he had cornered himself until he went to pull back from chris only for his leg to bump into the faucet. not that he was necessarily upset with their current situation, it’s just that… he did need to get clean.
needless to say, due to his inability to be separated from those he loves, chris ended up showering with matt. also needless to say it was quite some time before they actually got around to showering. so much so, that matt had to hear nick’s mouth about the lack of hot water all throughout breakfast. still, he didn’t have it in his heart to complain. not even once.
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kissing your brother in public is a recipe for disaster. chris knew this because, despite what everyone seems to think, he’s not as senseless or reckless as is commonly believed. what he is, however, is enamored of matt. he tried to hold off, play docile for as long as physically possible (at least until they got home). but it’s very easy to judge chris for his choices when you aren’t the one sitting directly across from matt in a booth, doing all you can to be near him in any way.
speaking of which, chris was almost certain matt was genuinely beginning to bruise his ankles with the way his feet, which were clad in a pair of tennis shoes, were slamming down against his lower leg repeatedly (though admittedly lightly).
he quickly slid his shoes off under the table in hopes of matt doing the same. chris was sure matt was shocked when he felt a soft pair of socks hitting his leg, if the slight pause in their footsie game was anything to go by, though he must’ve got the hint as he soon followed suit.
chris knew this was technically uncharted territory. more sentimental than they were used to, but this could be seen as brotherly affection. presuming you weren’t aware of all the other, far less platonic, interactions they’d had prior. besides, it’s not like anybody was made aware of what the two were preoccupied with under the table.
chris knew it was a bad idea… but the nearness of his brother, his lover in private, began to muddle his head. his ankle wasn’t enough, chris needed to be closer. he couldn’t stop his leg from rising, his feet officially on the booth across from him as he rubbed on matt’s upper leg. if he was disturbed or upset he didn’t show it. momentarily, chris wondered if nick saw it too—the look he and matt shared… the heat behind it. chris was trying his best to behave… but once he found that nick had to excuse himself to the bathroom he truly couldn’t help himself.
“what are you doing?” matt questions, as chris quickly jumps out of the booth.
but chris doesn’t answer. he can’t when he’s busy looking around the restaurant to make sure no one’s focused on the three, now two, boys in their booth in the corner. once he was sure, pretty sure at least he is still in a bit of a rush after all, chris leans in unable to stop himself as he delicately, but hastily lets his lips capture matt’s.
“chris! what the hell is wrong with you?” matt whisper-yells as he looks frantically around the restaurant.
“relax matt.. it’s fine” chris replies so nonchalant you’d think he wasn’t half scared to death too.
he knew it was risky, but he couldn’t help himself. is it a crime to miss your brother every once in a while? besides it’s not like he freaking made out with him. it was a quick peck and then he pulled back.
“fine? it’s not fine chris-”
“if you don’t shut up i’ll kiss you again matt. it is fine… it’s nothing but old people in here anyways they’re not worried about us” chris responds without a second thought. and even though he’s being chastised, by his favorite person in the world nonetheless, he still wouldn’t change a thing.
when nick comes back from the bathroom to see chris hovering over matt in the booth he chooses not to say anything about it. instead, he mutters a few words about chris sitting down before he does since he’s on the outside of the booth. and despite avoiding disaster chris still knows what he did wasn’t a particularly smart decision. but he honestly couldn’t stop himself… he couldn’t hold on any longer.
it’s the little moments that chris finds he appreciates the most. he enjoys spending time with his brothers, even when it’s strictly platonic, and being close to them is all he needs in life. even when they’re aggravating (or aggravated with him as is the case more often) the love he feels for his brothers still supersedes all. so the next time they’re out, even though he knows he shouldn’t, chris probably will find himself in the same situation all over again.
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let matt be the first to say it wasn’t even his idea to go to the mall. his brothers simply wouldn’t stop begging for him to come so he, albeit reluctantly, agreed. that certainly didn’t mean he wanted anything to do with this stupid ass photo booth chris wanted to go to. he’s not as much of a downer as everybody seems to think, but there’s a time and place for everything. and a mall that his brothers all but dragged him to, is neither the time nor place.
despite all of his qualms about the situation matt knew, and he suspects chris did too, that he can’t deny his brother something he wants. not for long at least, so -to the surprise of absolutely no one- matt ends up inside the photo booth arguing with chris about what they should do in each picture.
“chris. why can’t we just take regular photos dude?” matt asks frown evident in his voice.
“these are regular photos matt. but we get a limited amount of photos, so i think we should make the most of it” chris retorts, a cheerful grin emerging on his face.
matt can’t stop the eye roll he gives in response, as he can’t help but feel like his brother is overdoing it for a ten-dollar photo strip. he didn’t think it necessary to sit there and pre-plan every single photo, but this isn’t really for matt anyway. so he sits there with his brother and plans the photos, pose by pose.
“okay, what about the last one?” matt asks nearly five minutes later.
“we can just freestyle that one. whatever comes to mind in the moment, come on i’m ready to take the pictures” chris says as though someone else had insisted that they set aside time to formulate a plan for the photos.
“so what’s the point in planning the rest of the- never mind” matt responds as he puts his cash in the machine because of course, he has to pay for the photos he didn’t wanna take in the first place.
the first flash goes off as the boys do a classic smiling photo but, of course, things almost instantly go awry. chris steps on matt’s foot in an attempt to get ready for their next pose, and before matt can even shout at him the next flash goes off.
“sh*t chris you hurt my foot. and you ruined the picture.” matt complains maintaining eye contact with chris, memories of the plans long forgotten.
“okay! it was an accident jeez. hurry up and smile” chris replies trying to get back in his groove before the next photo goes off.
“f*ck smiling bro my foot hurts. and we already did that anyways”
“matt!” chris hollers dragging out the ‘t’ as the next photo is taken “we only get two more photos dude”
“it’s not my fault you crushed my foot” and maybe matt was laying it on quite thick, but he barely wanted to do this in the first place.
“okay change of plans” chris rushes out as the countdown for the next picture starts again “i know what i want our last two photos to be”.
and before matt can ask chris just what kind of plan he’s concocted chris’ lips are already finding his. and the flash is already going off again.
matt pushes chris away on instinct, and even looks around as though the photo booth doesn’t have curtains on each side, likely for situations just like this.
“chris! you can’t just do that” matt replies grabbing his heart. he can’t even explain why he feels so worried. maybe it was the suddenness of it all, maybe it was the fact that their public endeavors were happening outside more frequently as time passed. either way, he wasn’t sure his heart could handle much more of this.
“dude. you’ve gotta relax more, it’s seriously not the big of a deal” chris replies nonchalantly “now for the last photo i was thinking-”.
“god do you even listen to what i’m saying?” matt sighs exasperatedly.
“what? of course i do i just-” chris begins as the countdown starts once more “okay quick we’re gonna do the kiss again, the last one wasn’t right cause your face was all shocked and stuff”
matt wants to argue with him, but he only has about three seconds before the photo gets taken anyway, and truth be told all the other photos are kind of f*cked. so he figures he’ll let chris have this one thing, and meets him in the middle so they can kiss once more. the camera flashes for the last time, but chris hasn’t pulled away yet and matt knows he heard the camera because he did too. really matt didn’t mind at first, but chris began to get a bit heated with it before long and no way he was about to tongue f*ck his brother in the middle of a mall.
so he suddenly jerks his head back -real smooth matt- and pretends he doesn’t see the hurt and confusion in chris’ eyes. he, almost unconsciously, wipes his mouth, it suddenly feeling far to wet and slimy for his liking. even once he’s wiped his mouth dry begins grabbing their officially done and deposited photo strip he finds his mouth still feels…. unsavory. he knows it’s wrong, certainly would crush chris if he ever found out he felt that way, but matt’s stomach begins to churn against his own will.
“here… take your photos chris” matt mumbles out. when he gets no reply he realizes he must’ve been far too quiet, until he raises his head and notices chris is gone. matt knows he f*cked up, must have for chris to up and leave him. but what exactly did he do? so what he doesn’t wanna make out with his f*cking brother, in public no less, when did that become the wrong thing?
matt slides the photo strip in his pocket before he can think better of it and do something drastic like trash it entirely. he expects to find chris outside the booth sulking somewhere, but he begins to slightly panic when he finds he gone entirely. and matt has no clue where nick went when they stopped at the photo booth.
he goes to pull out his phone and call one of the two, but decides he could use a little walk and instead takes to just wandering the mall until he bumps into one of his brothers. that is until about five minutes later when nick calls him and all but curses him out about the “sh*tty mood he’d put chris in” before ultimately telling him to meet the two of them at the car.
he doesn’t wanna be pissy, especially at nick who’s been rather mellow with the whole ‘brothers kissing each other thing’ they had going on. but why was he being held responsible for the way chris was acting. especially because he didn’t really do anything wrong.
matt wishes the walk all the way to the car had calmed him, but the truth was the more he sat on this the more frustrated he got. especially when nick began to get in the passenger seat instead of chris.
“you’re f*cking childish you know that?” matt redudantly asks as he shifts into drive, and though his question isn’t aimed he knows chris knows he’s talking about him.
but he’s only met with an emotionless ‘f*ck you’ and so he decides to drop it altogether and drive him in silence. there’s no telling who jumped out the car faster once matt finally got home, and to the shock of no one everyone went to their on respective rooms.
what did shock matt, however, is when night time rolled around and chris still hadn’t come into his room. he was gonna be cross with chris the whole time anyways, he’d decided that hours ago. but when matt felt his eyelids begin to grow heavy and chris still hadn’t showed he’d gotten angry almost.
who does this guy think he is? he makes matt take them all the way to the mall, then he makes him take those stupid f*cking photos (where he tries to all but jump matt’s bones in the booth), and then has the audacity to avoid him?
but matt knows how to make chris hurt, after all he’s a big sentimental guy. which is exactly how matt finds himself walking downstairs towards chris’ room. he plans on making a big show of him putting the pictures on the dresser, so chris feels like he doesn’t want them. then silently walking out, so he can be as angry and -somehow hurt- as matt is but when he opens the door chris isn’t even in there.
and then matt is pissed. that two-timing motherf*cker ditched matt after all he put him through today just go lie down with nick. matt slams the photos on the dresser anyways, more of a real emotional response than a show this time, and even slams the door (though he knows chris isn’t there to see his temper tantrum) as he storms back off to his room.
he knows relationship experts say it isn’t good to go to bed angry, but he and chris aren’t even dating anyways. so that’s exactly what matt does, and if hot, unwilling, and unwanted tears fall down his face before he can force his body to sleep, well who’s any the wiser?
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chris doesn’t want to give matt the satisfaction of seeing him pissed. it’s why he gets up early to go back to his own room, so as to avoid the two of them interacting with each other. but when he finds that stupid damn photo strip in his room he feels a sharp pain begin to surface in his chest and he can’t help but respond the only way he knows how to. hurting someone else.
so chris grabs the photos before he can think twice, and walks silently up to matt’s room. he’ll put ‘em somewhere in matt’s room so he knows that chris is the one who doesn’t want them. he’s the one who doesn’t care what happens to them or where they go because he’s the one who’s above it all. he’s the one who’s so very nonchalant about the whole situation.
he does put the photos on matt’s dresser, for what it’s worth, but when he sees his brother lying there eyes staring back at chris he panics. this certainly wasn’t a part of his master plan, matt usually doesn’t wake up until the day is far more than halfway over. chris doesn’t say anything, just stares until matt finally opens his mouth. he speaks so quietly chris genuinely has to strain his ears and damn near stop breathing to hear the ‘lay down with me’ matt mumbles out.
and chris wants to fight. he wants to argue and tell matt to go f*ck himself and that chris is done with his sh*tty attitude. but he doesn’t say any of that. in fact, he doesn’t say anything at all as he walks around the bed before sliding in it right behind matt.
“sorry. about yesterday. didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or whatever” matt mutters turning to face chris, and when met with only silence he can’t resist tacking on a “didn’t realize you were that sensitive”.
and that certainly sets chris off.
“i’m being sensitive? you’re the one f*cking losing your midn every time i kiss you matt. what the f*ck has been up with you lately? you literally haven’t had one complaint before and now-” chris starts infuriated by the attitude matt has.
“i only have a problem with it, chris, when you wanna f*cking make out with me in the middle of the most crowded places ever! do you not understand that what the f*ck we’re doing isn’t right? you know that right? that this isn’t normal?” matt shouts gesturing vaguely between the two of them “i mean what is your insistence on f*cking parading the most illegal thing we’ve ever f*cking done to any and everybody who’ll f*cking look?”
“i’m not parading anything! i have never put you in jeopardy and i never f*cking would by the way asshole. so what i kiss you in an enclosed space. that doesn’t mean you need to freak the f*ck out on me! you all but told me to go f*ck myself yesterday. you have… you have no clue how it feels matt. to be terrified of every move i make just because i don’t know if you’re in the mood to f*cking love me that day, or if you’d rather pretend this doesn’t exist at all” chris retorts unable to stop his voice from breaking halfway through.
“i don’t mean to make this difficult on you matt. i just- sometimes i want to be close to you. and i can’t help myself. i didn’t know it was aggravating you everytime i… i don’t made a move on you, i guess, in public. and i won’t do it anymore. promise” chris finishes
“chris… you aren’t aggravating me. you don’t aggravate me, not by showing me love at least. seriously, i know i’m a bit finicky sometimes” matt beings, and chris can’t help the pitiful chuckle he lets out at that.
“seriously” matt continues “i just worry that sometimes we may be… pushing our limits or something. i mean… we’ve been doing this for a while chris and never once has it come to a head. and don’t get me wrong i’m not complaining i’m just saying maybe we should quit while we’re ahead y’know? i don’t want this to blow up in our faces or anything.”
“quit?” chris whispers his heart sinking as this begins to head in a direction he doesn’t like the sound of at all.
“no! not quit! not like that!” matt shouts as he realizes just how wrong his words came out “i don’t mean quit while we’re ahead as in… stop. i just mean being more cautious. i know i’ve really been screwing things up lately, and i’m sorry. but i would never do that chris. seriously.”
and a strong feeling of content spreads throughout chris as he finally feels at peace with his brother once more. he chooses not to respond, fatigue from his early start finally hitting him as he no longer has adrenaline due to mass emotions coursing through his veins. he throws a smile matts’ way as he begins to snuggle closer to him.
“we’re okay, right chris?” matt asks, eager for confirmation that he and his brother are on good terms before he can allow himself to rest.
chris simply nods, too tired to speak, though he does hum in pleasure as his brother leans over to kiss his forehead. and chris, ever so insatiable, turns his head up towards matt until he closes the distance between them once more letting the kiss say everything he wants to. and for the next twenty four hours chris couldn’t be separated from matt even if he got paid to do it.
⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ୨ ♱ ୧ ⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅
when matt insisted upon going to chris’ room cause his was dirty, chris had made it quite clear that he was agitated. but the truth is despite the clear lack of boundaries between the two of them, matt felt almost embarrassed for his room to be seen in that state. matt knew chris didn’t typically like being in his room, but figured his company made up for it, as he didn’t have to deal with being alone.
matt wasn’t all that nervous, even though he knew today was the day. he was actually quite excited about the newfound levels their relationship was about to reach. matt was apprehensive for a few seconds, but when he saw the photo strip of them in the mall loud and proud stuck on chris’ mirror he knew he was making the right choice.
somehow love didn’t feel like the right word to describe what matt felt for chris. he’d loved his brother all his life but this, now… it was different. but matt supposes that’s the distinction between loving someone and being in love with someone. chris was lip locking with matt before he’d even had a chance to say what was on his mind.
“chris… wait.” matt manages as he pulls back from his sibling.
“what matt?” chris replies pressing his forehead against matt’s and pushing them together, his need to be near matt unquenchable.
“we need to talk chris” matt replies trying to set the tone for the conversation.
“can we talk later, i missed you” chris dismisses once more pressing his lips against matt’s.
matt can’t help but laugh at that, seeing as the two of them had been separated for all of an hour max, when matt went to the store that morning.
“chris, please. this is important to me” matt responds pulling back once more, trying to convey the seriousness of the situation to chris.
he finally seems to get as he reluctantly pulls back and chooses to grab matt’s hands instead.
and as matt thinks back on the moment, reminiscing fondly as chris greedily takes his lips in his own, matt feels a strange sense of contentment. as chris unbuckles matt’s belt he learns what it means to be fulfilled with someone else, for their presence to make you feel complete. matt had never before in his life felt complete devotion like he did for chris.
as chris sunk into him, deep and piercing matt knew that there was nowhere else he’d rather be. it felt like such an appropriate ending to the conversation the two had previously had. matt knew chris would say yes when he asked him out. the latter had been all but obsessed with matt since he’d come out the womb. still, matt felt it was only right to make things official between the two.
he didn’t know that the two of them would be granted the serenity they’d had thus far with their relationship. but what matt did know was that he and chris… they were forever. they had been since birth and even though their relationship had veered off to something more romantic they were still bound to be eternally together. even if they had typical relationship troubles the truth of the matter is the two of them were brothers first, so they’d always be okay.
matt wasn’t afraid to be intimate with chris anymore, public or not the two of them were a thing and chris deserved to be acknowledged as a boyfriend properly to at least some degree. matt knew they’d have to tell nick one day, probably their parents too if they were awfully serious about this thing (which matt sure as hell was) but he certainly wasn’t stressed about it. because even in the worst case scenario, matt still had chris and that was enough for him.
